Discovering Joy: The Art of Authentic Living

11 min readOct 6, 2023

We live in a world that constantly tells us that happiness is the ultimate goal of life. We are bombarded with messages that urge us to pursue happiness at all costs, to seek external validations and pleasures, and to measure our success by how happy we are. But what if I told you that there is a better way to live: a way that transcends the elusive and fleeting nature of happiness and leads to a deeper and more lasting sense of fulfillment? A way that is not based on chasing happiness but on living with joy.

That’s what I discovered after years of being on the treadmill of chasing happiness, only to end up feeling empty and dissatisfied. Through a transformative journey, I learned that true contentment lies not in the pursuit of happiness but in embracing the simple yet profound art of living with joy. In this article, I want to share with you the insights and wisdom I’ve gained along the way. Join me as we explore why chasing happiness may leave you empty-handed and how living with joy can lead to a more fulfilling and meaningful life.

The Futility of Chasing Happiness

Happiness is a tricky concept. It’s hard to define, measure, or achieve. It’s often dependent on external factors that are beyond our control or influence. It’s also subject to change and variation. What makes us happy today may not make us happy tomorrow. Happiness is like a butterfly that flutters away as soon as we try to catch it.

I know this from personal experience. I used to chase happiness in various forms: money, fame, success, relationships, possessions, experiences, etc. I thought that if I could just have more of these things, I would be happy. But I was wrong. Every time I achieved something or acquired something, I felt a brief moment of happiness, followed by a sense of emptiness and dissatisfaction. I realized that happiness was never enough; there was always something missing or something more to be desired.

I was not alone in this quest for happiness. According to a [survey] conducted by [Harris Poll], only 33% of Americans reported being happy in 2017. That means that two-thirds of Americans were unhappy or dissatisfied with their lives. Why is that? Why are so many people unhappy despite having more opportunities and resources than ever before?

One possible reason is that we have been conditioned to believe that happiness is something that we need to pursue or attain from outside sources. We have been taught that happiness is dependent on our circumstances or achievements, rather than on our inner state or attitude. We have been misled to think that happiness is a destination rather than a journey.

The Power of Living with Joy

But what if we could change our perspective on happiness? What if we could shift our focus from chasing happiness to living with joy? What if we could realize that joy is not something that we need to pursue or attain from outside sources, but something that we already have within us?

That’s what living with joy means. Living with joy means recognizing and appreciating the inherent value and beauty of life itself. It means finding contentment and fulfillment in who we are and what we have, rather than in what we do or what we get. It means being grateful for the present moment and embracing it with an open heart.

Living with joy does not mean ignoring or denying the challenges or difficulties of life. It does not mean pretending that everything is perfect or avoiding negative emotions. It does not mean being happy all the time or never experiencing pain or sorrow.

Living with joy means accepting life as it is, with its ups and downs, joys and sorrows, successes and failures. It means being resilient and adaptable in the face of change and uncertainty. It means being authentic and true to ourselves and our values. It means being compassionate and kind to ourselves and others.

Living with joy is not dependent on external factors; it is a choice that we make every day. It is a mindset that we cultivate through practice and intention. It is a way of life that leads to a deeper and more lasting sense of fulfillment.

Gratitude and Presence

One of the key practices that can help us cultivate joy in our lives is gratitude. Gratitude is the act of acknowledging and appreciating the good things in our lives, whether big or small, tangible or intangible, expected or unexpected. Gratitude helps us shift our attention from what we lack to what we have, from what we want to what we need, from what we fear to what we love.

Gratitude also helps us live more fully in the present moment. The present moment is the only moment that we have; the past is gone and the future is uncertain. The present moment is where life happens; it is where we can experience joy. By being grateful for the present moment, we can become more aware and attentive to the opportunities and possibilities that it offers. We can also become more mindful and conscious of our thoughts, feelings, and actions, and how they affect ourselves and others.

Some of the ways that we can practice gratitude in our daily lives are:

Keeping a gratitude journal. Writing down three things that we are grateful for every day can help us notice and appreciate the positive aspects of our lives.
Expressing gratitude to others. Saying thank you to someone who has helped us or made us happy can strengthen our relationships and make us feel good.
Practicing gratitude meditation. Focusing on our breath and silently repeating phrases such as “I am grateful for my life”, “I am grateful for my health”, “I am grateful for my family”, etc. can help us cultivate a sense of gratitude and well-being.
Finding gratitude in challenges. Looking for the silver lining or the lesson in difficult situations can help us cope and grow from them.

Pursuing Meaning and Purpose

Another key practice that can help us live with joy is pursuing meaning and purpose in our lives. Meaning and purpose are the reasons why we do what we do, why we exist, why we matter. Meaning and purpose give us direction and motivation, passion and fulfillment, hope and resilience.

Meaning and purpose are not something that we find or receive from outside sources; they are something that we create or discover from within ourselves. They are based on our values, passions, strengths, and gifts. They are aligned with our authentic selves and our unique contributions to the world.

Some of the ways that we can pursue meaning and purpose in our lives are:

Exploring our values. Identifying and clarifying what matters most to us, what drives us, what inspires us, what guides us.
Discovering our passions. Finding out what we love to do, what we are good at, what we enjoy, what makes us come alive.
Developing our strengths. Leveraging and enhancing our natural talents, skills, abilities, and potentials.
Sharing our gifts. Using our passions and strengths to serve others, to make a difference, to create value, to express ourselves.

Letting Go of Comparison

One of the major obstacles that can prevent us from living with joy is comparison. Comparison is the act of measuring ourselves against others, judging ourselves by their standards, or envying their achievements or possessions. Comparison can make us feel inadequate, inferior, or unhappy. It can also make us lose sight of our own worth, uniqueness, and joy.

Comparison is often based on unrealistic or distorted perceptions of ourselves and others. We tend to compare our weaknesses with their strengths, our failures with their successes, our behind-the-scenes with their highlight reels. We tend to overlook or minimize our own accomplishments or qualities, while exaggerating or idealizing theirs.

Comparison is also often based on irrelevant or superficial criteria. We tend to compare ourselves with others based on things that don’t really matter or don’t really reflect who we are or what we value. We tend to compare ourselves with others based on things that are temporary or variable, such as appearance, wealth, status, popularity, etc.

Some of the strategies that can help us let go of comparison are:

Embracing self-acceptance. Accepting ourselves as we are, with our strengths and weaknesses, successes and failures, beauty and flaws.
Celebrating self-improvement. Focusing on our own growth and progress, rather than on how we compare with others.
Practicing self-compassion. Being kind and gentle with ourselves, especially when we make mistakes or face challenges.
Cultivating self-confidence. Believing in ourselves and our abilities.

Cultivating Resilience

Another key practice that can help us live with joy is cultivating resilience. Resilience is the ability to cope with and overcome adversity, stress, or trauma. Resilience is not about avoiding or denying the challenges or difficulties of life; it is about facing them with courage and optimism, learning from them, and growing from them.

Resilience is not something that we are born with or without; it is something that we can develop and strengthen through practice and experience. Resilience is not a fixed or static trait; it is a dynamic and flexible process that can vary depending on the situation and context.

Some of the ways that we can cultivate resilience in our lives are:

Developing a positive mindset. Adopting an optimistic and hopeful attitude, focusing on the positive aspects of our lives, and reframing negative situations as opportunities for growth.
Seeking support from others. Reaching out to our friends, family, or community for help, advice, or comfort when we face challenges or difficulties.
Practicing self-care. Taking care of our physical, mental, and emotional health, by eating well, sleeping well, exercising regularly, meditating, relaxing, etc.
Embracing change and uncertainty. Being open and adaptable to new situations and experiences, rather than resisting or fearing them.
Finding meaning in adversity. Looking for the purpose or lesson behind the challenges or difficulties that we encounter, rather than dwelling on the pain or suffering.

Building Meaningful Connections

One of the major sources of joy in our lives is our relationships and connections with others. We are social beings who need and crave love, belonging, and acceptance. We thrive when we have people who care about us, support us, and share our joys and sorrows.

However, in today’s fast-paced and digital world, we often struggle to maintain meaningful connections with others. We may have hundreds of friends or followers on social media, but we may feel lonely or isolated in real life. We may communicate with others through texts or emails, but we may lack genuine conversations or interactions.

Some of the ways that we can build meaningful connections in our lives are:

Nurturing existing relationships. Spending quality time with our friends, family, or partner, expressing our appreciation and affection for them, listening to them attentively, and being there for them when they need us.
Making new connections. Meeting new people who share our interests, values, or passions, joining groups or communities that align with our goals or vision, or reaching out to people who inspire us or challenge us.
Being vulnerable and authentic. Sharing our true selves with others, revealing our thoughts, feelings, dreams, and fears, and accepting ourselves and others without judgment or criticism.
Giving and receiving. Offering our help, support, or service to others who need it, as well as accepting help, support, or service from others who offer it.

Finding Joy in the Ordinary

The final practice that can help us live with joy is finding joy in the ordinary. Often times, we think that joy can only be found in extraordinary moments or events, such as winning a lottery, getting a promotion, falling in love, etc. However, these moments are rare and unpredictable; they may not happen often or at all.

The truth is that joy can be found in any moment or event, no matter how ordinary or mundane it may seem. Joy can be found in the beauty of nature, the warmth of a hug, the taste of a meal, the sound of laughter, etc. Joy can be found in any moment that makes us feel alive.

Some of the ways that we can find joy in the ordinary are:

Celebrating small wins. Acknowledging and appreciating our daily achievements and accomplishments, no matter how big or small they may be.
Finding humor in life. Laughing at ourselves, our mistakes, or our situations, rather than taking them too seriously or personally.
Expressing creativity. Engaging in activities that allow us to express our creativity, such as writing, painting, singing, dancing, etc.
Cultivating a sense of wonder. Being curious and open-minded about the world around us, learning new things, exploring new places, or trying new experiences.

Conclusion

Living with joy is not a destination; it’s a way of life. It’s a choice that we make every day, regardless of our circumstances or situations. It’s a mindset that we cultivate through practice and intention. It’s a way of life that leads to a deeper and more lasting sense of fulfillment.

By shifting our focus from chasing happiness to living with joy, we can discover that contentment is not just a distant dream but a daily reality. We can find joy in any moment or event, no matter how ordinary or mundane it may seem. We can experience joy in any aspect of our lives, whether it’s our work, our relationships, our hobbies, or our passions.

I hope that this article has inspired you and given you some guidance on how to live with joy. I hope that by reading this article, you have learned something new, gained some insights, or felt some emotions. I hope that by reading this article, you have found some joy.

Thank you for reading this article and joining me on this journey. I wish you all the best in your own journey towards living with joy. 😊